My Harem Ending was Unexpected, but Still Wrong
by weewah
Summary: A silly one-shot about a future where all of 8man's dreams came true... with a twist.


My Harem Ending was Unexpected, but Still Wrong  


A long time ago, a girl that was slightly younger than me had tugged on my sleeve and proposed to me while smiling shyly.

"Onii-chan! When Komachi grows up, Komachi wants to be onii-chan's bride!"

Unfortunately, I was young and foolish at the time, so I responded: "Don't be silly Komachi. Your onii-chan is high-spec you know? High-spec! He will definitely end up finding an amazing bride in the future. No, he will actually be so popular that he has a harem marriage!"

"Ehh?! But... but... Komachi wants to be onii-chan's only bride!" whined the girl as she pouted. Seeing that, I had no choice but to relent a little.

"Hmm... in that case... onii-chan will consider it only if you get enough Komachi points from now on."

"Komachi points? What is that?"

"Hehe... you see, Komachi points are..."

* * *

I yawned and stretched as I got out of bed. It had been a long time since I had a dream of my childhood... it had a nice nostalgic feeling to it.

Of course, those childhood dreams were quickly shattered by the harshness of reality. The cruel fact of life was that my high specs were only for my internal features. Thus in a world where everyone judges based on external appearances, my talents did nothing for my popularity.

And so by the time I entered high school, my childhood dream had been replaced by a more realistic dream: to be a house-husband!

...

Well okay, I admit that wasn't really realistic, but that's how dreams are supposed to be anyway. They aren't supposed to be things you can actually achieve, just things you can get close to achieving!

But the world has a way of generating the strangest events. Fact truly is stranger than fiction.

* * *

In my third year of high school, the anime industry exploded thanks to masterpieces by the famous WW. Consequently, the reach of otaku influence spread far and wide, even into the upper levels of government. Soon, otaku lobbyists were pressuring the government into giving in to all kinds of crazy demands, from introducing anime cultural study departments in national universities to devoting a portion of military funding for researching the possibility of dokodemo doors. **[1]**

Among these many changes, the government was even pressured into changing the laws of marriage to allow otaku to legally marry their collection of anime figurines. Thanks to that, even Zaimokuza ended up happily married, albeit only to a bunch of his Saber dolls. **[2]**

Naturally, the fact that otaku were allowed to do such a thing meant other people were now also allowed to get married to... well... pretty much whatever they wished... in any number they wanted.

And so, by some incredibly strange twist of fate, both of my dreams ended up coming true.

Against all the odds, I was currently both in a harem marriage and a house-husband. One could say that I had fulfilled my life's purpose and reached paradise... I mean, thanks to Yukinoshita's family wealth, even the risk that I might be forced to work one day was non-existent.

But well... I couldn't really claim that everything was perfect.

While Zaimokuza's harem marriage with his Saber dolls had no real problems, other than the sheer amount of creepiness, harem marriages involving actual human beings were rather different. In reality, members of a harem wouldn't automatically warm up to their rivals and happily share their loved one. Whenever one member in my harem marriage received more attention, jealousy would rear its ugly head in the hearts of the other members.

Of course, none of them were yandere to the point of actually hurting the one they loved, but I was afraid the same didn't necessarily hold so true with regards to their interactions with the others.

Frankly, it was sometimes scary.

Fortunately, I was a house-husband who always stayed home, while the other members either had to work or often went out for fun. So as long as I slept in a little longer, I would have the entire house to myself.

With that in mind, I spent the next few hours reading in my room before heading downstairs.

* * *

Unexpectedly, several pairs of eyes greeted me when I entered our dining quarters. The belonged to the other members of my harem marriage, and a surprising number of them were still present.

In the center of the room, Yui was currently braiding Yukinoshita's hair, while Miura was staring enviously by the side. Nearby, Isshiki was leafing through a fashion magazine, while Ebina was drawing another doujinshi. There were so many members in this harem that I couldn't list them all.

I mean, I literally couldn't... since I didn't remember all their names. For instance, in the corner of the room, there was a girl with blueish silver hair, tied up in a ponytail. She was giving off her usual "Why am I here?" vibe, and her face was so familiar that I was pretty certain I knew her even from way back in high school. Yet for the life of me, I could not remember her name.

"Ah Hikki! You're finally up. Come have breakfast with us."

"W-Why is everyone still here? What happened to your jobs?" I asked while staring at them in bewilderment. It was already past 10 in the morning, why were they still here? _Don't tell me they all got laid off... that doesn't mean that I now have to work right?_

"Jobs?" Yui tilted her head cutely as she repeated my words. "What are you talking about Hikki? Today's a national holiday you know?"

"O-Oh... right. I knew that." It had simply slipped my mind since holidays weren't relevant concerns for house-husbands.

"Jeez, your hair looks so messy. It can't be helped, let me fix it for you," saying that Yui left Yukinoshita's side and came over to play with my hair.

Immediately, the girls in the room turned to look in our direction, their eyes filling with envy.

"H-Hey! Hikio!" _Scary! Fire Queen Miura is still scary!_

"Ah! Senpai is being sly again! You're using your useless human appeal to make Yui pamper you!" _What useless human appeal? This is how I normally am damn it!_

"H-Hikigaya-kun. Didn't we all agree to using a rotation system? I believe the current situation is a violation of our contract..." _*gulp*_

In response, Yui and I quickly separated from each other. Yukinoshita was right, this wasn't the currently agreed on pairing.

"Yukinon! Sorry, I just couldn't help myself." Yui meekly returned to Yukinoshita's side and embraced her.

"Mou... you really don't play fair," or so Yukinoshita claimed, but I could see that she had already forgiven her.

As usual, Yui was instantly forgiven for anything she did. Meanwhile, various dangerous stares were still piercing through me, so I quickly grabbed a piece of bread and went out to the balcony.

* * *

Outside, I found that someone had arrived on the balcony before I did.

"Ohh Hikigaya. You're finally up." Hiratsuka-sensei took the cigarette out of her mouth for a moment to smile at me.

"I have been up for a while now, I was just staying in my room to avoid trouble." I returned the smile half-heartedly to the person who was also avoiding the others by staying out here.

Hiratsuka-sensei shook her head and sighed as she grabbed my head and moved it around playfully. "Yare yare. How can you be surrounded by so many beautiful girls yet still be so twisted?"

Of course, that comment just made me stare at her incredulously. Granted, she still looked amazingly young and had a dynamite body that made supermodels envious, but the person making that comment was well over 30 by now. "...No you say _girls_ , but..."

The grip on my skull tightened painfully so I shut up.

Soon, it relaxed and Hiratsuka-sensei returned to her usual gentle smile. "Well, it's not like I don't understand where you're coming from. It's the same for me. I certainly didn't expect to end up marrying one of my students after all..." she muttered while looking into the distance.

As she did, a gust of wind blew, and the smoke from her cigarette flew into my face. The irritants caused me to start coughing violently, so Hiratsuka-sensei quickly put out her cigarette and started patting my back. "Sorry, sorry. Are you alright?"

"Cough cough. I'm... I am fine." I responded while deporting the intruders from my lungs and rubbing some more out from my eyes. But somehow that just made her more concerned.

"No seriously, are you okay? You don't look so good. Did you sleep enough?"

Well, it was true that I didn't really get enough sleep last night. In fact, I could feel my bones aching. Perhaps old age had come early for me.

Then again, as someone who was partially responsible for my current state, Hiratsuka-sensei was acting pretty innocent about it.

"Of course not. Rather, I am surprised you are still so energetic after all of that physical activity we did last night."

Hiratsuka-sensei looked stunned for a moment. Then she burst out laughing and started walking back into the house.

"Jeez, can you still call yourself a man like that? That was just a short bit of exercise, you need to train your stamina more Hikigaya. Well, I am going back to the others now, you should try to enjoy yourself too."

* * *

And so, I was left alone outside to enjoy the peaceful outdoor scenery while mulling over Hiratsuka-sensei's words.

Certainly, both of my dreams had come true, so wasn't it a waste to not enjoy my current life? I could also remember the tears of blood Zaimokuza cried when I once tried to voice my complaints to him over Skype. If we had been meeting in person, I'm sure he would have tried to punch me.

But years of cynicism had left me unable to feel truly happy. I couldn't help but nitpick at the minor details.

For instance, I lacked any sense of accomplishment since this harem marriage wasn't something I made, but something I was pushed into. Looking back, everything had been determined at the end of my third year in high school. The final winner of the service club competition had made a single request, and she had accomplished it almost single-handedly. My contribution was merely my own existence.

For another thing, even though I was finally in a harem marriage, I still spent most of my days alone. After all, there was a rotation system in place.

My turn wasn't for another month.

Oh well, I guess I can at least look forward to playing more Wii Sports with Hiratsuka-sensei tonight. **[3]**

* * *

 **[1] A "Dokodemo door" is a teleportation device from the famous anime: Doraemon.**

 **[2] Saber is an anime character from Fate/Stay Night.**

 **[3] "Wii Sports" is a game by Nintendo that involves a lot of physical activity... or so it claims, but you can really play it while sitting down and just moving your hands, Tamanawa-style.**

* * *

 **Author's Note: So, I was reading through the Yui fanfics on this site one day and thought to myself: This isn't enough! 8man may be happy, but Yui isn't happy enough! She deserves to take EVERYTHING! And thus this one-shot was born.**

 **Frankly, I wanted to include more Yui scenes, but it wasn't 8man's turn so I couldn't :(.**


End file.
